


Fighting Dragons with You

by WatchforWitches



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, During Canon, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Epilogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25328881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchforWitches/pseuds/WatchforWitches
Summary: Some late nights they would stay awake together, musing about what it would be like to finally get to the end of their quest. Some nights the possibility of it ever ending felt less real than others, but sometimes they would share eager grins and talk about how they would be the kings of Henrietta Virginia.Adam didn’t particularly feel like a king at the moment.OR immediately following the end of the Glendower quest
Relationships: Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 8
Kudos: 74





	Fighting Dragons with You

**Author's Note:**

> The in-between of the last chapter and the epilogue of the Raven King has always seemed ripe with angst and healing. I have been wanting to write something like this for a while, but could never get in the right headspace to think of what to write. Low and behold a line from an old Taylor Swift song- also the fic's title- inspired a burst of creative energy and general vibes of what I had been writing and rewriting for some time now. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy

If you had asked Adam Parrish 8 months ago how he thought he and his friends would be celebrating finding Glendower, he would have answered with one word- triumphantly.

Some late nights they would stay awake together, musing about what it would be like to finally get to the end of their quest. Some nights the possibility of it ever ending felt less real than others, but sometimes they would share eager grins and talk about how they would be the kings of Henrietta Virginia. 

Adam didn’t particularly feel like a king at the moment. He was sitting in the kitchen of Fox Way, lit dimly from the outside setting sun. He had bandages on his knuckles and cheek, a tea in front of him that he couldn’t bring himself to drink, and Calla watching him not very subtly from her perch near the stove. Blue was next to him, not eating her yogurt she had gotten, her eyebrow restitched messily by the Grey Man. Ronan would have been pissed he was there if Ronan had enough energy to feel anything close to rage, but as it was he was in one of the bathrooms with Maura, probably grumbling as she fussed over him. 

Ronan. 

Adam missed him even as they were in the same house. He wished so desperately to pull the taller boy to him and find comfort that he recently discovered there. But, he was simply too afraid, always too afraid. He was almost glad the women had whisked them off separately the moment they got there, looking at Ronan was too difficult a task with the deep bruising on his neck, the black streaks of sludge all down his face and neck. He could still feel Ronan’s hammering pulse under his fingers and felt nauseous and terrible at the sensory memory. 

He felt beat to all hell, they all did, and it didn’t feel like there was anything triumphant about the depressing tableau they had all created throughout Fox Way. 

“Adam,” Blue’s voice was small, scratchy with the evidence of her past sobs, but she still got his attention. He looked at her nose, not wanting to look any higher and see the inflamed area of her forehead. “Are you-” 

He shook his head minutely before she could finish the sentence, and offered her a small sad smile as a consolation. “Are you?” He asked back, his own voice thick with all the sobs he hadn’t let out. 

She shrugged and gave him back a sad smile as well. If Calla had heard them talking she didn’t make any move to say anything, simply sipping her tea slowly. “Hell of a first kiss,” Adam said, trying to be funny, his voice all wrong. 

Blue let a huff of breath out through her nose and shook her head. “Actually, Noah was my first kiss.” 

Adam looked up into her eyes at that, saw the mischief of Blue underneath all the sad exhaustion. “Noah?” 

Blue smiled and nodded, “Yeah, a few months ago. He’s already dead, so.” 

Adam didn’t know why but that made him laugh, loud and sudden. Blue giggled at this, and then the two laughed for what felt like a long time, before stopping. Neither said what they were both thinking, that they probably would never see Noah again, that he was probably really gone this time. When they stopped laughing, Adam looked into Blue’s eyes again and started talking much more seriously, “Blue,” his voice hitched just the slightest amount, “I’m really sorry-” 

Blue shook her head, and put her hand over Adam’s, he didn’t flinch but it was a near thing, “Don’t. It’s not your fault.” 

He was about to argue with her when the sound of stomping came from the stairs, and Ronan appeared in the kitchen, with Gansey and Maura in tow. Adam looked back down into his tea, ashamed and scared of what he would see in Ronan’s eyes if he looked. Gansey made his way around Ronan and Maura and took Blue into his arms, the two hugging fiercely. Adam half wished Ronan would stride towards him with that same confidence, knowing Adam would meet him halfway. But Ronan knew Adam better than Adam thought he did, he could probably tell from where he was standing 10 feet away that Adam wouldn’t want to touch him, at least not so soon after nearly strangling him to death. Adam reckoned they would be having a conversation about that, and he wasn’t looking forward to it. 

Once Gansey and Blue separated everyone sat around the table, except for Ronan who was standing a few feet away, leaning against the doorframe to the living room. Adam felt the group simultaneously let out a breath of relief at being back together again, but also the tension of nobody knowing what to say. “School will be weird on Monday,” Gansey spoke first, probably hoping to add some levity to the situation. 

“I’m quitting,” Ronan spoke around his mouthful of bracelet leather, “for real this time man, I’m dropping out.” 

Adam watched a complicated series of emotions flit across Gansey’s face, but to everyone’s surprise, he just nodded wordlessly. He and Blue eyed one another, both silently glad neither boy had the energy to argue. “Let’s not have any heavy conversations now,” Maura interrupted the tension of the topic of school, “You all need rest, and you need food.” 

“Nino’s?” Blue asks simply, eyes floating from Maura to Gansey to Adam, who was still looking at his tea. 

“You can take the car,” Maura says plainly, her own voice tired and willingly bending. 

“Parrish and I will pass,” Ronan says simply as if taking the words from Adam himself. While he was hesitant to leave Gansey, to leave Blue, he knew he wouldn’t be able to eat. At this everyone’s eyes go to Ronan, who just looks at Adam- who finally looked up to meet Ronan’s gaze- and shrugs. “I’ve got the BMW, you two take the car.” 

Blue looks at Adam, who just nods in agreement with this hasty plan. As the three get up to leave, Maura hugs Blue closely and whispers something quickly to her, causing her ears to go red and they have a silent conversation with their glares. 

As they spill out of the house they go back to being four teenagers- a little beaten around the edges- who are as close as family. They exchange fist bumps, careful hugs, and departing words before going their separate ways into the two vehicles. 

If Adam had felt like being in Fox Way was difficult, it was truly nothing compared to the suffocating silence that was held over them in the enclosed BMW. He had a thousand thoughts all jumping over each other to get priority, and his brain felt too fuzzy to sort through anything. Apparently he didn’t have to say anything to break the silence, because before he could process his thoughts, Ronan was heaving a sigh and speaking.”I’m sorry Adam.” 

This was not expected. Several things about this statement made very little sense to Adam. Mostly that Ronan was apologizing to him, and secondly that he had used his first name. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of the road as he said it and hadn’t moved at all other than to change gears. “What?” Adam asked words punched out from him in shock, “Why are  _ you  _ sorry.” 

“That was,” Ronan pausing as if waiting for the words to come to him, “a fucking nightmare. I’m sorry you went through it.” 

Adam sort of wanted to ask if Ronan had been body-snatched and if not then why was he talking like he hadn’t also lived through the same events Adam had. “You’re kidding right?” He asked incredulously, “I nearly killed you with my bare fucking hands and you’re apologizing to me?” 

That did cause Ronan to glance from the road, and Adam was certain that he saw the way his eyes were lingering on Ronan’s neck, where the yellow hand marks would turn red and purple as they healed. He wished he could forget the way that it had felt, how little control he had over himself, how Ronan refused to hit back no matter how loudly Adam had begged and nearly sobbed. “Piss off Parrish that wasn’t you,” Ronan said in a dismissive way that felt like he both wanted the situation to be lightened, but also that he didn’t feel what he was saying. 

“It sure felt like me,” Adam answered, angry and miserable. “When my hands were at your throat, choking the life out of you, that sure felt like it was me Ronan.” 

Ronan pulled the car into the shoulder of the road, sudden and quick. He put the car in park, reached across the gearshift, and was grabbing Adam to pull into a fierce kiss. It didn’t last long, Adam went stiff in his fear, and Ronan had only meant it angry and fast. It was barely a kiss at all really, it felt closer to a thing of an argument, a declaration of war. “Fuck off,” Ronan snarled, however not unkindly, “That was the fucking demon Adam. That wasn’t you and me. I know what’s you and me. That was the demon using you like some sick fucking puppet. If you think for one second that I would ever be afraid of you, that I don’t trust you with my life, that I know that wasn’t you, then your the stupidest fucking person alive.” 

Adam closed his eyes against the onslaught of words and took a heavy breath that was closer to a sob, shaking his head and wringing his hands unconsciously at his lap. He feels Ronan’s hand carefully take his uninjured hand from him, holding it carefully. “Why’d you not fight back Ronan?” He asked softly, miserably, “Why didn’t you listen?” 

“You know why,” Ronan said simply, “I wasn’t fucking hitting you. I just couldn’t.” 

“You said it wasn’t me,” Adam argued back, no real fight left in his voice. 

“They weren’t your hands,” Ronan said as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe, “It was still the rest of you. I couldn’t.” 

If Adam had more energy in him, if he thought this conversation would go anywhere he figured it should, he would have argued. He would have found some reason as to why Ronan should have beat the hell out of him or knocked him unconscious. But it was his version of himself against how Ronan saw him, and he had started to realize a few months ago that it was a losing battle trying to argue these vastly different ideals of Adam Parrish. “What do we do now?” He asked after a long moment of silence, his hand still held in Ronan’s. 

“Eat,” Ronan said plainly, “Sleep. Rinse and repeat until things stop feeling so weird.” 

“Things have been weird for over a year now,” Adam replied, “I don’t even know what normal is any more.” 

Ronan lifted one shoulder in a shrug, “We’ll figure it out.” 

-

After giving into Ronan’s insistence on food, they stopped only once for Ronan to run into some convenience store near the church for snacks. He filled up on gas while he was there, and Adam closed his eyes and rested his head against the seat while the tank was being filled. He could almost sleep, but the sun was setting and shining directly on his face, and every time he closed his eyes he saw Gansey dead, and Ronan being unmade, and Blue’s sorrow. He wondered how long it would be until he could vanish those images, how many more times would he have to look at his friend’s unmarred faces to override the worst images imaginable. He didn’t have much time to think about it before Ronan was climbing back in the car with a bag, handing Adam a protein bar he had already eaten half of himself. “Thanks,” Adam mumbled as he took a bite, stomach actually remembering what food was and why his body needed it, he felt hungrier than he could remember feeling for a long time. 

They drove in silence to St. Agnes, and climbed the steep steps to the door in silence, and spilled into the one-bedroom apartment in silence. Ronan kicked off his boots and put the grocery bag on the box that doubled as a table. He retrieved a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some bandages from the bag and nudged his head in the direction of the bathroom. “C’mere.” 

Adam followed him and allowed himself to be guided to the edge of the tub. Ronan closed the lid of the toilet and sat on it, and started to peel the old bandage off of Adam’s face. “What are you-” 

“You need to disinfect it, Parrish. Calla maybe a witch, but clearly not the healing kind if she thinks slapping a bandaid on will heal that.” His voice is raw, so clearly trying to find it’s way back to normal, but getting lost in a million places between. 

Adam wants to say something to that, but Ronan is set in his way about it, and there was something about this that Adam thought might quantify as a sort of mediation to Ronan, so he just shut his mouth and nodded. Ronan nodded back, smiling one of his small genuine smiles at Adam, before grabbing an old cloth and dousing it in rubbing alcohol. “This may sting,” he says quietly, leaning closer to Adam, their knees in-between one another. 

He brings the cloth to Adam’s face slowly, and Adam closes his eyes. He winces when the cloth hits the exposed skin of the deep scratch. It stung briefly, then past at Ronan removed the cloth, just patting the area gently, careful not to rub at the already red angry skin. Adam kept his eyes closed as he heard then felt a bandage being opened and placed on his cheek. Before he could stop it, his eyes burned with tears. Having his eyes closed so long had brought with it the horrible images, and he suddenly couldn’t reconcile the Ronan that he very nearly killed, and the Ronan that was so carefully tending to his wounds. He let out a soundless sob, and the tears fell quickly down his face, his eyes closed now because he hoped Ronan hadn’t noticed. “Adam,” his voice was soft and gentler than Adam had ever heard it. 

When he opened his eyes finally, Ronan was standing in front of him, looking down at his face and frowning. “It’s alright, you probably don’t have sepsis.” 

“Fuck you,” Adam burst a laugh between the sobbing breaths as he cried harder now, noisy and ugly and in a way he had rarely ever cried for fear of retribution. 

Ronan raised his hands and used his thumbs to wipe the falling tears away, careful of his injured cheek. Then he pulled Adam into his chest- which was really more like his stomach at their different levels- and wrapped his arms around Adam’s shoulders. He rubbed slow circles into Adam’s back and carded through his hair. If Adam had been in the right frame of mind, he would be mortified at the scene, and he was sure that when he recalled this tomorrow he would be. He would apologize for crying, forgetting tears and snot on Ronan’s shirt. But he also knew that if Ronan were the one suddenly in tears, he wouldn’t give a damn about his shirt, so he tried to preemptively forgive himself. “It’ll be okay Parrish,” Ronan tells him once his sobs have subsided. He says it and lets Adam go, a little unwillingly, and takes a half step backwards. 

“Yeah?” Adam asks, because he’s honestly not so sure. 

“Yeah,” Ronan says, voice nothing but sure. “C’mon, let’s go eat.” 

-

They eat, and then they sleep, and Ronan’s usual spot on the floor goes cold for the night as he and Adam share the small bed. They tangle around one another for both necessity, and for comfort. Adam didn’t think either of them could sleep all that deeply, and he himself spent a good number of hours with his head in Ronan’s chest, breathing him in and listening to his steady heartbeat. “Ronan?” He asks at one point he’s certain they are both awake, voice breaking the silence around them. 

“Yeah?” Ronan responds quickly, a little nervously if you listened for it. 

“Will you be my boyfriend?” He asks, a little in disbelief that those were the words that came out when something much closer to  _ I love you _ or  _ I need you _ or  _ I’m so sorry _ filled his head. 

Ronan lets out a soft snort at the question and squeezes Adam a little closer for a brief second. “Yes.” He says easily. 

Adam wants to ask a million other questions, ask him if he’s okay- certainly not- if he knows about Noah- probably- if he needs to talk about anything that had happened- undoubtedly. But he had run out of the will to speak any more questions, to have any of those discussions. He knew those matters would be discussed as a group. Probably tomorrow, probably at Monmouth, and probably with either coffee, alcohol, or both involved. Blue and Gansey were probably in a mirrored position on Gansey’s bed somewhere across the town, and Adam just wanted to close his eyes and let the night be filled with its unruly quiet. 

So he moves to kiss Ronan soundly before doing just that. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments/Kudos/Feedback are all welcomed and encouraged. I really hope you enjoyed reading!


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